In fact, I have a larger responsibility to listen to you and Steinar451. You are not trying to reach into my pocket and make me poorer. You are expressing what is in your heart. You are my brother in Christ. You are my neighbor. You are an American.
The heart of the matter is whether or not to accept Christianity. You reject Christianity because you feel that the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit betrayed you. I don’t know what happened but it sounds like you went through some trauma.